Gather for Karthigai Deepam at home

Let the local panchang settle the date

Get the local date before ordering food. Then write one chosen evening on the invitation, with a guest arrival time and a separate lamp time. If guests are also going to a temple, give them its address and schedule. The food count can change later. The date needs to be settled first.

Karthigai Deepam is a Tamil lamp festival at the Karthikai full moon. Tamil households and temples light small earthen lamps. Accounts of the festival connect Shiva with a pillar of light whose end Brahma and Vishnu could not find, and also honour Kartikeya. Set the home lamps with the person who normally lights them. That person decides any shrine order.

Clean the entrance, draw a kolam if that is part of this household's evening, and set the lamps before dusk. The person lighting can tell helpers which spaces to leave clear. Put food on a separate counter so nobody has to reach over a flame to serve supper.

Before the chosen dusk

Guests who work on Monday can come for supper later, even if the lamps are lit at dusk. For a 7:00 PM supper, have the table ready by 6:30. On Tuesday the sequence is the same. Keep the lighting and meal times as separate lines on the invitation.

Map the lamps before you buy them

Place empty trays first, then open the door fully and carry a coat through the entrance. Count only positions on stable surfaces, away from cloth, paper and the door swing. For this home plan, two sturdy baking trays hold four lamps each, with one adult assigned to each tray. Buy eight lamps for those positions and four spares for breakage. Write the tray location beside the watcher's name.

Use the fuel and wick specified for the lamp. Some families soak new clay lamps before first use and use sesame oil or ghee with a cotton wick. Follow the lamp owner's practice and the lamp's fuel instructions. Have the lamp owner show helpers how full each lamp should be. Keep the oil bottle and spare wicks on a separate unlit work tray. Set each lit lamp at least 12 inches from anything that can burn. Leave the smoke detector on. Battery lamps can mark a busy step or narrow window without putting flame in the walking route.

Ask the family how long their lamps burn, then set the lighting so the flames can be watched through the meal. Kneel at tray height: a sleeve can catch what you cannot see from standing. Leave a clear route for a mobility aid and a chair for changing shoes. If wind or rain makes the outside position unusable, use battery lights there and the attended indoor positions already tested.

Keep a second pair of eyes on the doorway

Give one helper the door and a separate adult each lit tray. The door helper moves bags out of the path and directs guests to the food. Before a watcher sits down, they show the next adult every flame they are handing over. Write who extinguishes each tray at the end of the evening. No tray stays lit in a room without its watcher.

Build the meal around the cook you have

Set a 7:00 PM supper after dusk lighting if the household agrees. Give the cook the guest count and the lamp time. Use the dishes the household chooses. For a recipe yielding four servings, 12 guests need three batches, 20 need five and 30 need eight, with two servings left from the last batch. For this plan, allow two-thirds of a cup of cooked rice per adult: 12 adults need 8 cooked cups, about 2 2/3 cups raw if the recipe triples in volume. Check the recipe and pot capacity before buying.

Set food on a counter away from the lamps. Put a serving spoon beside every dish. Families often make pori, adai, appam and nel pori urundai; customs vary, and this food list needs a Tamil cook's check. Choose one family recipe before shopping. For a bought sweet, allow one piece each plus two spares, or 14, 22 and 32 pieces for 12, 20 and 30 guests. The water row is plain arithmetic for one eight-ounce glass per person. Refill from the tap or a larger jug as needed. If a guest brings a hot dish, clear a landing space and write its arrival and serving time beside the cook's name. The person at the lamps should never have to leave them to find a spoon or carry a pan.

Who lights and who watches

The household decides who lights and whether guests join the observance or arrive for supper. Confirm those two details before sending the invitation. The host can handle chairs, food and the safe lamp positions. Leave shrine items and any fast to the people keeping them.

At dusk, have the lamp surfaces ready and the walking route clear. Let the household light in its own order. The food helper can keep the kitchen moving while the rest of the group watches or waits as invited. Once supper starts, someone still needs to watch the flames. If that person goes to the table, extinguish or hand off the watch first. Put the watchers' names on a card by the food counter so a helper can find the right adult if a guest points out a lamp that has moved or gone out.

Send a date that names your household's plan

Write the chosen date, guest arrival time, whether guests will see the lighting and the 7:00 PM meal time if that is the plan. Collect food needs privately. Once replies close, multiply the cook's recipe yield into the final count and check the doorway with the empty trays one last time.

Count the guests

Plan supper quantities

Add local prices