Send earlier when
- Many guests will travel
- The shower falls near a holiday
- The venue has a firm capacity
- The gathering is large
- Guests need time to ship or coordinate gifts
- The shower falls within eight weeks of the due date, when plans may shift
Send later only when
The event is small, local, informal, and the key guests already confirmed the date. Even then, give people enough time to protect the date and arrange childcare. Anything under two weeks starts losing replies rather than saving effort.
Choose the RSVP deadline backward
Start with the date the caterer, venue, or host needs a final count. Put the RSVP deadline three to seven days before that so there is time to follow up, and plan on chasing a few households by phone or text. If you are cooking yourself, a deadline one week out works; for a catered venue, match the venue’s count date and pad it.
Plan around the due date
Aim the shower for four to eight weeks before the due date: early enough that the parents can enjoy it and travel comfortably, late enough that the birth feels near. If the baby arrives early, decide quickly whether to reschedule or turn the shower into a welcome gathering, and send one clear update to everyone who replied.