For attending
Thank you for coming to the shower. It meant a lot to have you there, and we’re glad you finally met our families.
Attendance is the gift for many guests, so a plain, warm note is the right size. Resist the urge to apologize for a late note at length; one honest line is enough.
For a gift
Thank you for the stroller organizer. We have already packed it with the small things we keep losing around the house.
Name the item specifically and what it will be used for, which proves the note is not a form letter. If the gift was money or a group gift, say what it will go toward instead of listing an amount.
For hosting help
Thank you for taking charge of lunch and cleanup. We could enjoy the afternoon because you handled so much behind the scenes.
Send these notes early; helpers usually hear nothing and remember everything. A note to the person who recorded the gift list is easy to forget and always noticed.
For someone who could not attend
Thank you for thinking of us and sending the books. We missed you at the shower and hope you can meet the baby when the time is right.
Do not apologize on their behalf or dwell on their absence. Acknowledge the gift or the thought, and leave the door open for a visit.
Getting through the pile
Write five notes at a time rather than all at once, and work from the recorded gift list so nothing is missed. Notes for the parents’ family and friends can be split between the parents and the host, and a short note that actually gets sent beats a long one that does not.